She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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