i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
