Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
