So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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