so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Can I color on your dick again?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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