you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
