He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
