piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
there is glitter all over my balls
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