I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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