It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
