I molested 6 butterflies tonight
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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