Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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