what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
