Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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