I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
