PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
