party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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