question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
