where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
