Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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