its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
