my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she woke up with a sticky ear
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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