this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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