Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
