My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
