I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
