her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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