I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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