Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
