question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
