He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
