I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
