I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
