You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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