I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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