Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize