ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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