At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
