Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
