Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
His hands were made for my vagina.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Randomize