carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
im on a boat
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