Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
