I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
