if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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