what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
