Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
