my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
