The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
