I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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