Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
