I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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