We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
