idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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