Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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