did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
