Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
