it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize
