So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
God, I missed his penis.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
