I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
