I hate your face
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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