I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
