I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
