Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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