If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
