There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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