His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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