South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
